I’ve noticed that if someone’s depressed every once in a while, not clinically depressed or anything, just really sad, people take the time to worry. If someone’s depressed most of the time, as in has depression and takes medication and all of that, people don’t seem as concerned because it’s such an ongoing thing.
I’m not sure why that is, but after having depression for the last few years, it’s something I’ve noticed (and I’m aware I probably come across as selfish - I don’t mean to demand attention with this).
Sometimes I find that I don’t have the strength to worry about someone that has been depressed for a long time because it sort of … sucks me back in? I can concentrate for short periods of time on people that have issues because the end result of them being happy reminds me that things end well.
It’s a really selfish reason to not be able to try to help people who really need the help, and I know it’s not fair, but that’s at least my reason for not appearing to outwardly care.
And sometimes it gets really hard when you try to be there for someone and you’re not helping at all. When there’s nothing more you can say because you’ve said it all and it hasn’t helped.
This sounds so insensitive and horrible, I’m so sorry. I do try to worry about and care for everyone that’s not well or unhappy but sometimes it’s really hard and very emotionally draining (for me, at least). That’s just my reasoning.
I had this friend and she had/has depression. She would constantly put herself down and said more than a few times that she was going to kill herself, even set dates. I tried so hard to help her through her particularly bad days, to give her advice, etc.
But none of it helped at all, she really did bring me down, she made me cry and feel totally down because nothing I did would help.
It’s not that people don’t care, it’s really just that it’s easier to get through the day happily and stress free than to try deal with someone elses problems and begin to feel self destructive and helpless yourself.
I’m like, really sorry that your friend who wanted to kill herself made you feel sad. How shit must she be to have not taken your feelings into account when she was overcome by her own feelings of self-hatred and immeasurable sadness?
Sorry to sound heartless, but really, you feeling sad does not equal what is felt by someone who deals with depression every day. If you care so much about your friend, why are you only talking about your own feelings here? I’m so glad that some people can get through life stress-free. I wish I had that luxury.
My post didn’t even mention people caring every single day. A genuine ‘how are you going?’ every once in a while would fucking suffice.
IT’S JUST SO FUCKING HARD BEING ABLE
I CAN’T IMAGINE WHAT IT’S LIKE TO HAVE TO LIVE WITH OUT THIS DISABILITY. SO TOUGH 4 U
you own it, Cathy. SO proud of you for saying this. Big step, babe.
Some reasons why my mental health has declined enormously over the last 17 years.
I never wanted to bother anyone or be a burden.
It took me 3 months to tell my best friend I had been diagnosed with severe depression. Her response? ‘I don’t feel sorry for you, you bought this on yourself.’ Yay for friends I guess.